merry merry merry

bad bad headache today.. at least i got to enjoy Christmas Eve day & mass with the fam and kids yesterday. :)

been laying in bed alllllll day today. feel sick to my stomach and like crap. 

Merry Christmas to all. 

gingerbread hula gal

when i'm bored, i create things like this... hehe. 

Holidays!

As much as everyone says the Holiday season is stressful, annoying, full of grief & down right - burdensome.... i actually enjoy them! 

Call me crazy but I love baking cookies, decorating trees, snow, Christmas Eve mass, giving gifts, hanging w/ my family & friends, and most of all - I love how everyone comes home for the Holidays :) 

Plus with all the new and exciting things happening in my life - I get to purchase gifts like this.. for the new "gifts" in my life. :) 

(I can't WAIT to be "Auntie Mandy")

do this.

life is too short to let it pass you by... 

There's too much going on right now..

This time of the year is horrible for me, absolutely unbearable. Deep down i want to sit in my room alone, and just think. The fact of the matter is that - that is not good for me. If I am alone - my mind starts to wonder, i begin to think of things that make me happy but in the end make me sad. 

I try pretty hard to see the "good side" to every thing that has, does and will happen to me. But ya know, its not always that easy. I know other people who continuously live their lives this way as well...and it just seems that at one time or another - we all break. 

November (throughout the holidays) & March - (see other journals) those are my fragile months. Meaning that at any fluke moment, i could breakdown and start crying. Normally i'm not a very emotional type of gal - that just isn't my thing. I try to keep it all inside and maintain my strong / independent way of carrying myself. Nevertheless, its always when i'm doing something unexpected that it occurs. 

Its like an out of body experience, because i could be doing something in my everyday life - for example, driving. I begin thinking about my best friend - what she was, all that she embodied, who she loved, how she lived...and then i begin to think about where she would be now. I wonder if she'd be living in Michigan working for Stryker Medical or off in Arizona where she had the opportunity. Would she be dating someone? Would she still be stressing over the smallest of things? Would her and Marcy still be bickering everyday? Would we talk on a weekly / monthly basis?Most of all i wonder if she's dissapointed in me as a friend of hers - for not living my life to the fullest. Is she confident in the decisions that i have made? Am i properly full-filling the promise i made to her that day she passed? 

I don't know. I wish i could just see her again - hear her laugh one more time. 

12 things to live by

Just a few things I picked up from a blog i'm subscribed to - ThinkSimpleNow

1) It's the simple things in life that are extraordinary. 

2) Support your children in their pursuit of their dreams. 

3) There is nothing to hold back, except yourself. 

4) There is only one way to learn, and that is through action. 

5) Trust your gut. 

6) Follow your dreams.

7) Know what you want.

8) Make a decision and dive in with massive action. 

9) Move on - always look forward.

10) You will encounter obstacles and take detours while realizing your dreams.

11) Don't fear the unknown.

12) Learn to understand the universal language - the language without words. 

Not in any particular order... but most are important to me. 

I <3 the Bahamas

Really, I should just move there. I think i will, if I ever get the opportunity to own any piece of property down there, i will. Even if its like a tiny pile of sand with one palm tree haha. I LOVE it!

It makes me insanely happy, peaceful, joyful, relaxed and ecstatic all at one time. I don't know if its because i enjoy the locals, the colors, the views, smells and the traditions but dang... i've been there 3 times in the last 2 years. Thats just crazy! :) I'm heading there again for a 4 day cruise courtesy of Bud Light on friday, hip hip HOORAY!!!!!! 

Ah, needless to say i need this. Not because of stress and life in general (although it should help me clear a few things up in this dumb head of mine) but just because I'm 23 freaking years old and sometimes i feel like i don't necessarily act like it. I feel so grown sometimes that i need to just check myself. It really makes me think. 

So i'm going to enjoy this weekend for all it is worth, quality time in a place i love with people i care about. We'll see what this brings, and after all there will be an abundant supply of Bud Light -- so who knows what can happen ;) 

ALL ABOARD! 

6 and 1 baby!!!

Man o Man. I'm not trying to get all excited about this but MY SPARTANS are 6 and 1 on the season! We're freaking bowl eligible! haha.

Oh, and did I mention that we're ranked?

I love the fact that although I am an alumnus of MSU I still have a profound love and devortion toward my school. At the wedding I attended on Saturday night in lovely EL, I noticed this more than ever. Being that the couple getting married were both MSU alum's...the entire wedding was in some way, shape or form affiliated with Michigan State University. Talk about fun! Singing the fight song with a happy go lucky couple, that just got married and loves msu and each other...there's nothing more that i would want at my OWN wedding.

ahhh... I love my school. <3>:)

a dream.

I dreamt that I was dating Michael Phelps. I was his girlfriend. The funny thing was that in the dream, i didn't think i was better than anyone else... nor did he. He was everything I imagined him being. :)

cute. funny. charming. sexy. confident. shy. open. exciting. and real.

Also, did i mention he was an amazing kisser....

::sigh::

What can i say, I love a guy who is good at what he does, loves what he does, and has drive and desire in life.

Where's MY Michael Phelps?? Or is it possible to just have HIM? ;)

astonished at myself..

i've realized that in the last 8 months i have been ultimately alone, meaning no relationship, while at the same time..i'm completely content.

it sometimes seems as though others do not understand what it takes to make me happy. it may be selfish but ultimately it is ME that i think of first. even if it means no sexual contact for over 8 months. i must thank my doctor for helping me realize this.

and now i must get some for myself. ;)